THE SITTER'S HOUSE

We survived our first week at the sitter's. It was not bad. Overall it was okay, not as bad as everyone kept saying it would be. The first day was not bad at all. I was not afraid of leaving her, I was probably in a daze considering it was so early.

Tuesday we were at home. Wednesday I dropped her off and it seemed okay. I brought her blankets and toys to use. Thursday was SO HARD! I do not know if the novelty wore off of getting out of the house or what. I didn't want to leave her. I wanted to sit with her and listen to her aaaaa and ooooo's all day. I was sad leaving as if almost emotional. I never cry. I never knew why until seeing the doctor. Apparently I have chronic dry eye and my eyes do not produce tears. (yes, it is dangerous) So sitting at a funeral not crying I did not understand. Was I damaged? It takes an incredible amount to make me cry, but now after a laser procedure suddenly my eyes were leaking for NO reason at all.

The sitter said "I just left her in her car seat yesterday, and she slept till 830" I was upset. I felt as if my eyes were going to start leaking again as if it was an uncontrollable act. I couldn't leave. 2 and a half hours in a car seat all scrunched up. Why would she do that? Am I over reacting because my eyes were leaking? I didn't like that at all and was worried about what I had gotten myself into. I said you should take her out of there if she is that tired she will sleep. I wanted to SCREAM "PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT" why would she do that... a guy at my work explained,

"She will watch your child as best she knows how, but she will never watch your child better than she has watched her own children. It may not be to the best of your standards, but it will be to the best of her standards."

So that is suppose to make me feel at ease about leaving her. I am not sure what to think anymore. Perhaps I am on that high standards level of everything should be clean and proper. Perhaps I am really judgemental. Shouldn't I be if she is watching my child? Then I consider if my nature is that I am so observant I notice things that I shouldn't or others do not. She said they were downstairs all day. Then when the other kids had a ball they threw from upstairs she yelled, "no toys downstairs they are suppose to stay upstairs." So were these kids downstairs all day with no toys?

I asked for her clothes because she was wearing a different outfit. She didn't want to give them to me. Strange? I guess baby had a blowout in her clothes and she was washing everything. I was annoyed. She said it didn't come out so she put SHOUT on it. In three months and multiple blowouts daily I have not had ONE single stain on her clothes. Now the favorite outfit is ruined. So silly because I will get back the clothes to rewash them in chemical -free detergent. Then again would I have been happy if she handed me dirty clothes?

She questioned what I do to get her to go to sleep. I said she just goes to sleep on her own. She said not for her she "pats her bum" to get her to sleep. I wondered how often she did that during the day. Was she creating bad habits? Then was she forcing her to sleep? Would she go to sleep if she wasn't tired? I said well I do not do that if she does not fall asleep on her own I do not force it. I wonder if this method is better for the baby, but then I am so curious as to what she does when I am not there. I need a baby cam to calm my curiosity.

Overall I am glad she SURVIVED or more like I SURVIVED! She might be teething at least I HOPE because a week at the sitters and she is now sucking on a binky! She never liked them before.... ohhhhh this will be interesting!