A BEAUTIFUL BABY

I love how calm she is and how she simply observes her surroundings. I prayed she would be healthy and smart, and I was blessed with so much more. She is nothing like me... which I have to admit is a blessing. She is quiet and at peace never making a fuss over nothing. I hope it lasts!!!

MADISON

MADISON AND MOM

TWO SISTERS AND BABY

MOTHER AND DAUGHTER PHOTOS

We took a road trip to Mount Charleston for the day. We had lunch at the lodge, and we found a park bench in a beautiful area to take pictures on. It was a fun day for a spur of the moment idea. It was great to get away from the heat and enjoy the cool fresh air.

2 MONTH CHECK UP

Two month check up turned out to be a great experience. I decided to check out a new doctor. Immediately I LOVED them. They have two entrances, one for sick children and another for well children. We went into the room and were visited immediately by the doctor. I suppose since there is a well waiting room that I wouldn't mind sitting in the waiting room longer if I did not have to sit in the patient room as long to wait for the doctor.

UPDATE: Madison is 2 months old, weighs 10lbs 14oz, measures 23 1/2 inches. She is in the 50th percentile for weight, 75 percentile for length, and the measurements of her head are in the 90th percentile. I knew I was not crazy when NONE of the newborn hats would fit her. Since birth she has gained 3 lbs and grown 3 1/2 inches. Average for a 2 month old is about 13lbs so she is a bit skinny.

The doctor asked if I wanted to get her vaccinations (SHOTS). Me being the OCD person I am, I wrote down EVERYTHING. I wrote down my family history, questions, concerns, and random Internet facts I had found. He was AMAZING! He answered all of my questions and supported my decision, and even provided his opinion. When do doctors ever give you their opinion... He did confirm these SHOTS do contain small amounts of MERCURY, but some brands do not. You can request to have the vaccinations separated such as the MMR (Measles, Mumps, Rubella) but must request this at the health district. This is the shot that has created controversy over vaccinations and if they are related to autism.

The doctor said we can wait until she is 2 years old to start her shots if I prefer to wait, but to not give her any shot containing MERCURY. This includes the DTaP (Diphtheria, Tetanus, Pertussis), and I will receive a medical release to enroll her in school without the shot. He said the problem with these viruses is that the elderly are getting 'whooping cough' or Pertussis and passing it to the babies. I find this contradictory considering most people receive their shots so why are they not immune?

I bought a book to help me understand more about the dangers and risks associated with vaccinations. I did learn that by the time a child is 1 they have received 32 injections of 12 different viruses making Americans the most vaccinated children in the world. You may say we are the healthiest, but REALLY considering we have more abbreviations for disorders than every before. The books says that is equivalent to giving a 130lb individual 70 doses at one time. That would make any grown adult massively ill.

In October 1999 they had to RECALL the vaccination 'Rotavirus' because it caused the DEATH of a small child. How many deaths were ruled SIDS before they figured that one out? Of course this didn't make the nightly news to educate new parents.

PRETTY IN FLOWERS

Madison's new outfit. I went to get away and to not spend money, which doesn't seem to work when you have a small baby. I found this randomly and I could not resist. It's a cute little dress. I bought 3-6 month thinking she would have time to grow into it since she is still wearing Newborn size onesies. This dress is long enough, but the bloomers are outrageously big. They go up to her chest.

ESCAPE ON A HOT DAY

Madison and I decided to escape from the life we know and visit the river. She did good for the overwheming amount of change that was present. She only cried when everyone was talking at one time and it got a bit loud.

The river is a place I used to go when I was little. It was an escape once for me back then, now it was different with a new house and different people. It is a peaceful place to go and relax even if it is 108 degrees in May.

NEW SHOT SCHEDULE

Our new doctor is FABULOUS! I was happy once leaving the office. He listened to all my concerns and assisted in guidence, but ultimately it is my decision. He said I can wait till she is two years old before immunizining her. He did recommend not getting the DTaP shot at all. Since my dad is allergic to Thimerosal it is probably what caused my seizures and could be passed down to her. It is the mercury additive in a larger amount of shots.

It is scary. How they try to intimidate you into thinking you have to have these shots. He said that pertussis or whooping cough is mostly contracted by the elderly and is being given to our babies. So why not vaccinate the older rather than tiny babies. Plus this vaccine causes seizures, yet the virus is treatable by antibiotics. Don't sound like the risks are worse like everyone says now does it. It's that who intimidation media craze like the idea that cigaretes were once good for you, or that soda isn't bad, or fake sugar is healthier than natural sugar, or my favorite that milk does a body good. FYI... They LIED!! Each time some marketing genius paid by the company is behind the facts. What a scary world we live in.

If you refuse shots you have to sign a form that says you understand the risks and your insurance company may not be held responsible for anything resulting in your negligence... So who pays when it is their fault? If my child does receive shots and ends up in the hospital or autistic or dies... Who pays then? It doesn't seem fair!

Be aware he said do research and make my own decision. There is the Dr. Sears schedule, another I want to research with the option to not do anything until your child us at least two years old.good luck!

VACCINATION AND IMMUNIZATION WORRIES

I am freaking out about these vaccinations (or 'booster shots') that are required for the first years of life. I decided not to get the 1 month Hep-B shot and wait to speak with the doctor. I went in at 1 month and the doctor had no information for me. It is as if he was afraid to discuss this topic. I decided tomorrow we are seeing a different doctor because I will not blindly fill my child with chemicals. Now I am contemplating not receiving any of the 6 shots she is suppose to receive at 2 months. Am I risking her life by not getting her these shots? Would I ever forgive myself if she contracted one of these viruses that a vaccination is readily available for?

Everyone says its better to get the shots then to risk it, but if she dies from a shot or becomes mentally disabled was it worth it? I am afraid to use baby wipes due to the mass amount of chemicals that are deemed 'natural' what on earth would make me think these shots would be something I would do.

My mother spoke of when I was younger.... I had Grand Mal Seizures after receiving my vaccinations. It is also known as a reaction to the DTAP vaccination. I was having grand mal seizures and was placed on medicines and put my parents through a lot in the early stages of my life. It was scary how many testimonials I read regarding similar situations, except some did not survive others have life-long side effects. I did read that you can request DTAP but the DT to prevent a relapse of the seizures, but why do they risk it at all? I DO NOT want to go through that nor damage my child.

They say ignorance is bliss... I of course had no idea what pertussis or diphtheria is or means, which I am sure the majority of parents do not know either. So I researched it, and I am scared at what I now know. The testimonials from parents regarding death, illness, mental disabilities, hospitalization, SIDS all within hours of receiving immunizations has FREAKED ME OUT! Not to mention the idea that this diphtheria is treatable with antibiotics and/or penicillin. Do they force us to use these vaccinations that are multi-million dollar money makers by requiring them to enter the school district?

What is the point of giving a tiny baby a vaccination for a sexually transmitted disease, (Hep-B) yet that is what hospitals do. Why do these children receive mass amounts of illness at once? I read they receive them in packages combined viruses so 6 vaccinations at one time because it allows for less doctor visits and less shots so the child isn't uncomfortable. So poke my child less so I may risk her mental health.... Sometimes I wonder if these people are so smart they lack COMMON SENSE!

The worst information I read was some of the ingredients: 'horse blood, stem cells, sheep liver, formaldehyde, aluminum, thimerosal (aka mercury)'. My first thought is VEGETARIAN! So how does that work? SECOND thought is FORMALDEHYDE!?! (punctuation nightmare, but you get the idea) How is that safe?

I need to make a decision that could potentially be life-threatening... it is moments like these where I wish I was ignorant, stupid, and ADD. If you are interested stay tuned for updates, I speak with a new doctor tomorrow.

BABY UPDATE

Madison is 2 months old or 8 weeks. She is growing like a weed. She goes to the doctor tomorrow, but looks like she is about 24 inches long, and feels like a ton of bricks.

At this 2 month stage she is learning how to use her vocal cords. She likes 'coo' 'auhhh' and 'yahhh'... Which I would love to say her first word is 'yah' considering you ask her if she has a dirty diaper and you get 'yah' but until it is understood I would say we will not claim that one. Instead she is able to hold conversations by cooing and then waiting for you to respond as she responds with 'auhhhh-oooo'. She is able to hold up her head a little longer than before which she is excited to see the world from a different angle when she does. She also is noticing more and more in the natural world, and smiles showing those dimples.

MY RANDOM MOMENTS AND THOUGHTS

Last week seemed like an extended week like there was an extra day or super long days. I am suffering from lack of personal time, lack of sleep, and lack of showers. One positive side to things since I am suffering from a lack of showers it has produced healthy hair. On a different thought, my bank account is shrinking, and my OCD behavior is out of control. I cleaned the bathroom, kitchen, organized EVERYTHING from diaper bags to knitting items to my over abundance of scrap booking items, and I even did my homework. Some call it 'NESTING' I call it INSANE.

My parents bought new cars so the dealership thanked me by giving me a cargo net for my trunk, and filled up my tank of gas. That helps in times of need like this MONTH.

I realized how these baby necessities can become expensive. She went through 10 diapers yesterday and countless number of baby wipes. I also found a use for the chemical infested wipes I stupidly bought that I do not want to use on baby's skin, the bathroom counter tops, my car, and my shoes.

My freaked out moment... having a small child to transport around when you go to the store causes you to do things you NEVER thought you might do. For example, I WORE flip flops. I immediately regretted my decision when I returned home to see the black hole had eaten my feet. As if I was scrubbing the bottom of my feet with black tar or as if I had been homeless without shoes for years. How is it possible to wear shoes yet your feet are BLACK after leaving the house? I KNEW there was a reason I hate flip flops! Of course when I was in a hurry walking out of the door I was thankful to have shoes that did not require a lot of extra attention... NOT happening again. (NOTE TO SELF)

So I bought seeds. I want to make an herb garden and decided to buy seeds. Of course I was the DUH girl that left her purchased items at the check out. Who does that!?! I suppose people who don't sleep much or are new moms. At least I remembered the baby, things could be worse... at least this time I remembered my wallet.

Not that baby is keeping me up, she slept through the NIGHT. I am learning a morning nap makes for a good night otherwise she is cranky and that is not fun. Unfortunately, I am not so calm. As soon as she sleeps I am cleaning everything we touched or will touch from the laundry to the floors to the many diapers and wipes used. She is growing and with that comes more diapers. Cover your eyes if you are squeamish.... 4 outfits yesterday destroyed from overflowing waste. It is not only coming out of the sides, but up the top like a waterfall exploding. You can literally see her diaper overflowing as it stains the outfit she wears. A soupy mess is not the best thing for an OCD person. I dislike loud noise, the center of attention, and anything that leaks... hence why motherhood frightened me.... I am adapting quite well I would say considering the amount of diapers I go through.

I have never been a 'go-getter' business type person. Money does not motivate me, at least it never has before, probably because I never had to worry about it. Now I have to buy things, an abundance of things that are not cheap. So my newest idea... It is interesting to me the things that will never end... single mothers, divorce, and then there will always be weddings... and people will always have babies... if you want to make money an item that is needed regardless of hard times find something to do with these two events and you are GENIUS!

JUST US PHOTO

PRETTY IN GREEN

ADORABLE BABY

BABY PHOTOS

MOTHER'S DAY PHOTOS

DUCK OUTFIT

SLEEPY BABY

We had a busy day yesterday. We had a play date with Madison's new friend. She gave us her old clothes. I love them. This is one of them SO CUTE.

Lola is 7 months so she is mobile and more attentive. She was facinated by Madison. I think Madison was curious too. Here is someone her size standing up and moving around. It's harder to take pictures of a baby who doesn't stay still, whatever am I going to do. They are almost the same length just Madison is so much smaller. Madison is 23 inches 10lbs and Lola is 25 inches 15lbs.

Madison is all legs. She is still wearing Newborn size onesies, but any feet outfits forget it. She's long enough to fit 3-6 month feet outfits only the are so big it's like a tarp or blanket on her. She
takes after me. She is going to be long.

MADEE'S ADORABLE HAT

MADEE'S NEW HEAD BAND

HAPPY BABY

GERM PHOBIC

Okay so I am already germ phobic and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive
Disorder). It doesn't help that there is a worldwide health crisis. I
am worried about what I am going to do when I go back to work. It
wouldn't be so bad except now there are 2 reported SWINE FLU cases in
Las Vegas. One is a little boy. It is very scary. Basically we are not
going anywhere because she is too small for the medicines or vaccines
if she did get the SWINE FLU. That's scary.

MADISON SMILING

She is becoming more aware of her surroundings and her limbs. She is beginning to use them to grab things like moms hair, and she has discovered smiling. She loves the music and smiles or responds with an AAAAWWW or an OOOOHHH...

MADISON'S SUPER HUNGRY FACE

She is so funny. She expresses herself through the facial expressions and noises. This one she was telling me she was hungry. Generally she cries, but I have been trying to get her to tell me in other ways so I can tell between hungry and diaper. This one was too funny.

SHE SLEEPS

JUST US

ORGANIC CALIFORNIA BABY

California baby contains no "Smell masking chemicals" is what this label called fragrance. I never gave it much thought as to why they would need to put added smells into these so called 'natural' items. Perhaps it is because the amount of chemicals would be overwhelming. It is similar to the idea that cheese must be orange-yellow so they add color. Since when do we need our food to look a certain way, it all looks the same mashed up in our bellies. My favorite is added 'natural flavors'. What is natural about adding flavor? The thing that bothers me the most are these products that claim to be fruit yet there are no strawberries in the ingredients just 'natural flavor' yet the box says strawberry flavor. It happens more than you would think especially with lemon flavor, strawberry, grape, and even those gingersnaps contain no ginger.

Since Madison has eczema, I of course began to OCD on the topic. I found this product called California Baby. Basically it is an over priced organic line of baby products. I am not sure if it is worth the extra money for this particular brand since there are other organic products out there, but maybe it is the most organic. It is available in the bulk size half gallon or gallon, but beware $108 bucks for a gallon of lotion... sounds extreme but if it gets rid of the eczema is it worth it? I would think that is CRAZY, but on the website it says 'due to the high demand of this product is it currently unavailable'. So perhaps there is something popular to my madness, or these people have a lot of money to waste.

BOXING FIGHT - KO

I am so grateful for my friends, especially those that have been there for so long. I am a different type of 'female' as most claim they do not have any girlfriends. I recently acquired many having a child you tend to have more in common with moms. However, do not be so quick to discredit my guy friends! Honestly all my friends are amazing they have been awesome in everything about me and baby even my co-workers. I am so grateful! The guys have been around the longest, probably because we share the same interests from boxing to UFC to soccer. It is nice to have a variety of friends to share the difference in interests. The guys have been there from as far back as I can remember. They are the best!

Tonight we watched the boxing fights, hence why I am generally the only girl. I am curious if she will be like sister and lack interest in these sort of things, or if she will be more like me and lack interest in fashion and glitter. Maybe she will be the best of both worlds considering my sisters presence has this dominance about it.

Tonight Madison saw her first boxing fight and KO. More like she slept through it. Probably because we watch UFC and she was bored. (Ha! Just kidding sort of). I love that the 'hommies' still invite me. If it wasn't strange enough that I was usually the only girl, now with a baby. They are awesome to still be there. They have been there for the majority of my life so that in itself says a lot. Plus everyone who meets Madee seems to just love her.

She met a five year old today. He loved her so much he gave her some if his toys. It was so cute he wanted to play with her, and he was protective when she started blowing bubbles. Her first friend almost like he wanted to be her big brother. It appears like either I am going to have my hands full or she is going to be just like me.

PASSION FOR MUSIC

When I was pregnant while driving, I would occasionally blast the radio. When I did baby would kick so much you would think she was dancing. I am not a big music person so never thought she would be. My mom is hoping for musical talent since it runs on her side of the family. My sister and I not so much, however, we did get the artistic OCD traits.

It was interesting because the louder the music played the more she would kick. She seemed to like the hard rock or that which caused the most vibrations. I didn't really believe the kicks were music related although these moments lingered in t he back of my mind. So it appears she likes music. Today a song came on the movie we were watching and she really seemed to like it. So my mother went out and bought us kids songs CDs.

I was reading how music, nursery rhymes, help soothe children as well as develop the cognitive thinking. Children relate to different tones allowing them to make different and new connections in the brain, as well as allowing them to distinguish between the voices of parents or individuals that are speaking to them. It sounds important. It is no wonder they try to incorporate music and school.

I wonder if she will keep this interest. I met someone tonight that was really into music to the point of his career and that is what he does. The way he spoke about music, it was as if his whole face glowed the moment he began to speak about it. He said it started when he was very young, so perhaps this is something that should not be ignored. Either way it is something that makes her smile, and for that I am glad because to have that much passion for something is a beautiful thing.

Most people do not find their niche, their passions, or talents, and to be able to find something at a young age and know that is what you want to do in the future is a gift. What a lucky person to be passionate about what you do on a daily basis because so many of us are lost without any idea what we want let alone what we want to do. A simple thought: Do you pray for A passion? Just one single thing you could be amazing at, or do you crave to be good at everything and lack that excellence to excel beyond great in only one thing?