SICK BABY

I am scared. With so much running through my mind,

What if she is not getting what she needs?
How do I know if she needs to be taken to the hospital?
What if I trust these idiots, and it turns out to be serious?
What do I do to make her better?
Why is this happening, especially right now?
How am I going to get through a day of work without freaking out?
What if something is seriously wrong and no one is paying attention?

I am so tired, yet I cannot sleep. I feel like I am a walking zombie. I decided to get a 2nd opinion. I am going to call my insurance and confirm if we can go to a different doctor to get a 2nd opinion. I figure they would appreciate that more than me taking her to the hospital, and having them find one for us. I haven't called the heart dr, as I do not have a reason why I feel this way I just do. I am nervous they are not taking this as serious as they should.

Already Madison is in the 3rd percentile for weight. She should be around 23lbs at 13 months, yet we are 17lbs, and are still wearing our 6 month outfits. I hope tomorrow is a better day than today, with better news. This fluid thing scares me. It could restrict the heart causing it to pump harder. This could be a contributor to the weight loss, or it could be something entirely different. The only problem is, is that they do not effectively communicate with each other. I am frustrated and tired.